Past, now and future...

Hahaha...i can't believe that is going 2 months i didn't update my blog...maybe because of STPM, maybe because of nothings special happen so i got nothings to share...hahaha...as usual i repeat "time do pass very fast"...so fast that i had completed my F6 life in Hua Lian...one and a half years was fast...so fast that i had finish the most tough exam in the world,STPM...

The past, i still remember the times when i struggle to complete my revision on every subject for STPM...how i burned the midnight to finish the syllabus...
of course I'll remember the sweet times in Hua Lian...the new friends i met...the teachers there do help me a lot...honestly say i do enjoy F6 life...gonna miss it so much...

Now, i have half year of holiday...of course i can't just stay at home and online 24 hrs...hahaha...i have to work soon...hahaha...i should start thinking of the courses i am interested and also of course the courses that can help me to find job in future...hopefully I'll be able to find out the courses i want...

In future,i am going to University...i must ready to face uni life...i know is totally different from school life...i wonder how will it be...hahaha...i have to adapt to new environment again,know new people...all this can't be done in just a day...sigh...hopefully my uni life will be just the same like my F6 life...enjoy and have fun!!!

Graduation Dinner...

Yesterday 6th of November, is our graduation day at school...2 more weeks and STPM is coming...wow really enjoy that last day at school...busy watching performances and snapping photo with friends...hahaha...snap funny photos with the guys...too bad i be the evil girl torturing them...hahaha...u will see it soon after my big exam over...after that went for lunch with Txin, Poh Juan, Li Chui, Ber YIk and Wei Sheng at Nagaria...that restaurant was not bad..i mean the food and the surrounding too...we plan to have trip to many places after exam...wow sure very fun at that time...can't wait anymore...hahaha...
Then at night around 7pm, my friend come fetch me to Txin house and we are going for dinner...a class gathering dinner about 13 out of 18 classmates come then join by 2 other not from U6C that is Ber Yik and Jennifer...both of them are only o.5% of U6C...so two together add up will form a person...hahaha...so actually U6C got 19 people...hahaha...we plan go Matang eat dinner...that dinner was not bad and the bill is RM212 for 15 people...the meal consist of 6 types of dishes and our stomach is very full after the dinner...then we went to Txin house to play some stupid games...hahaha...around 11 something only reach home...first time i never prepare anything for my MUET exam...i only manage to study until iam...luckily the test was not difficult except for writing paper...anyway i just try my best la...everything is in God's plan...now just have to focus on STPM...study hard, study smart...

What a surprise birthday party !

First of all, i would like to thanks to all my beloved friends for planning such wonderful surprise party for me...this year my birthday was celebrated earlier by 6 days due to the coming STPM...hahaha...actually i plan this year i won't be celebrating d because of the STPM la but Thanks GOD for giving me such wonderful friends planning and spending time celebrate for me...Txin was really a great actress, it's was really a surprise party for me...hahaha...

My early birthday party was on 23rd of October 2009...

Txin : Serena, later after school we go Taiping Central k…my sis wana buy shoe so we can go and see also…
Serena : ok…no problem…so that means u come and fetch me?
Txin : yaya…wear nice nice ya…
Srena : Huh…??? Why?
Txin : Aiyo…later I wear nice nice so u also must same like me la…
Serena : ermm…ok.
I start to feel curious…
Txin : Oh ya, don’t eat so full k…later we go eat together…
Serena : Ok since my mum didn’t cook today…^_^
During recess suddenly came two of my friends wishing me “happy birthday” and just ran off…lol…what’s going on…then…
Wei Sheng : Na na..Happy Birthday!
Serena : Huh…???Today is not my birthday.
Wei Sheng : Oh…never mine because tomorrow I can’t wish u d…hehe…
Serena : Huh…tomorrow is also not my birthday… my birthday will be next Thursday…
Wei Sheng : Oh never mine, never mine…hehehe…
I came back home…when I start to prepare for my lunch…came an sms from Poh Juan calling me to wear skirt go out…lol…what big day is that I need to wear skirt?...i just refuse to wear but Poh Juan kept telling me to wear, said me bad serena, if I wear then she will go out with us also…I just laugh non stop but feeling weird with Poh Juan response…she hardly sms me like this…
Anyway suddenly raining, i thought Txin is going to cancel the plan but she insisted to come fetch me go…lol…I hardly believe this…

In Txin’s car…
Txin : Ermm..okok…your dressing quite nice…
Serena : ???
Txin : We go pokok assam eat first then only go Tpg Central…
Serena : Ok…(I thought she wanna fetch Jenni)
I told Txin bout Poh Juan’s sms and she just laugh only…I feel weird because izit really that funny…on the way to pokok assam…
Txin : Eh Poh Juan sms wo…she said go Rex box.( fake sms )
Serena : Oh ok but we can go eat first because Poh Juan won’t so fast reach Tpg rite…
Txin : Oh she already in Tpg…never mine la after Rex box only come back eat la…hehe..
Serena : Oh ok lo…suddenly feel like don’t sing k-box la…
Txin : Har…why le…
Serena : No la..just haven’t found the mood to sing…all so sudden..haha…
Txin : Oh…hahaha…

When we are reaching Rex box…
Serena : Eh I saw poh juan car and li chui car oso…li chui also join us ar…
Txin : yalo...she sot sot 1 la…
Serena : Oh ya lo…hahaha…

In Rex box…
Serena : Txin…why we have to wait outside….quickly ask Juan which room…
Txin : Wait first k…
Then I saw Agnes, Jenni and even Sher Lyn…wondering what happen…
Txin : Eh u all come out didn’t ajak us…
Jenni : oh…^_^
Serena : Yalo…so kebetulan meh…
Txin : Yalo…they cum out with Sgi gang…
Serena : Oh…
then i saw them entering a room while me and Txin wait on the lobby...suddenly i saw a pair of hand telling us to come...i told Txin and she just say come go have a look...i saw is a big room and wondering how many people are those sgi gang?
Suddenly rush out Wei Sheng holding a bouquet of lily for me and i saw most of my friends started to sing "happy birthday" song...oh i was just shock and after all it's a SURPRISE party...hahaha...feeling very touch and happy, tears roll down from my cheeks...really thanks alot to all my beloved friends...love you all always...hehehe...my cakes is the Nash Donuts...hahaha...after eating this birthday cake, got to wait for few more months before can really enjoy eating donuts again...hahaha...in order to finish up the donuts as many as possible, i feed everyone at there...hahaha...so we just sing continuous for 3 hours at rex box...we managed to snap some photo and its already uploaded in facebook!!!

Thank you so much to U all !!!

My heart said...

"Overall my trial results was bad...very disappointed...i was feeling disappointed until i feel numb with myself...i start to feel that i was useless, why i can't remember what i have studied?Why i can't answer such easy question?...no matter how hard i had studied before yet i can't score well in exam...i hate myself...based on this trial results, i suppose to cry out loud but only a few drops roll down my cheeks...i was feeling very sad and disappointed until i don't think by crying will relieve my sadness...i blame myself for not putting much effort, blame myself for not paying attention in the class, blame myself to have such weak memory...i really want to cry out and shout as loud as i can but everything was just my wish...i can't do it...feeling stress with STPM...i try not to think of the past...till now i don't want to accept that i had chose a wrong pathway...i was still struggling to go through this few more months...to console a person is much much easier than to console ourselves..."cool down k...don't so stress ya", this is what i always told my friends and yet i found it difficult for myself to do it...my determination to study was not strong...i want to have strong determination to study just like how i can spend few days doing something i like...i am trying my best now to study for STPM...i don't want to fail...i hate failing...although this trial, i kept saying "fail ma fail lo...not a big deal right...i am ready to fail"...sound so relax but when i really got that result, neither cry nor happy, my mind was just feeling blank...i know my heart was very pain with those kind of results but i didn't cry so badly this time...sometimes i just thought of don't want study anymore...when i see my friends doing homework, i felt tired...when i see my friends studying and doing revision, i felt stress...i feel that everyone around me are so clever, even they didn't studied they still can score well...why i can't be just one of them? i felt myself so stupid...if my friends ask me question, i found it difficult to explain to them or i can't answer the question...feeling useless...sigh...as STPM is reaching, my shoulder feel more and more tired...how i wish the time can stop right now, i was scare to face STPM, i feel even more scared to face my result...i was scare...sob sob..."

i was feeling more better now after writing this blog...
this time i chose to say out instead of crying...as usual i have learn to think positive...there is still time for me to improve...i want to prove to myself that practice makes perfect...i give myself another chance to work hard for my real STPM...to my dearest friends, don't worry about me, i was just expressing my real feeling...don't worry, be happy...=)...my forever slogan "i know i can do it"...i am going to take my last chance...may God bless me...

Trial just over...

Yesterday, my trial STPM just over...till now i never plan to study yet, maybe i can do some revision on my Peng. Am and maths but obviously not bio and chem...i plan to do revision after tanglung festival...now enjoy reading storybook and of course my part time job haven't finish but will end soon...hehehe...as usual planing to celebrate tanglung festival this Saturday but not sure whether i will be able to make it or not because i was still working at that day...hehehe...
Sigh...my trial results really drop...i do felt sad and disappointed with myself but i know i had tried my best...=)...anyway live a happy life...stay happy, stay young...hehehe...

Time for study...

After 2 days of work...it's time to study for my coming trial..i don't think i will be able to study finish but I'll try my best...hehe...i don't put high hope on this trial, just hope for a pass in every subject then I'll be grateful...hahaha...sound so easy right but not to me...I've been wondering my memory start to deteriorate, i hardly be able to remember the fact...maybe i am more suitable to study those not involving fact all the time...in short form i am more to creative thinking...hahaha...anyway i will still study of course...hahaha...hope to go university is one of my wish...i want to experience the life at there...hahaha...i know i can do it...

Obstacles...

First of all i want to ask God, sincerely asking, When will i lead a peaceful life?A life without any obstacles?...pray hard to God for answer...
i do agree about a statement stated "God hid our biggest rewards behind the highest barriers - our deepest fears. God wants us to face our fears, and hold ground in their presence, and let them go, and that's how we get out biggest rewards.
I understand this statement but there are a lot of doubt in my mind...
Why i have to face so many difficulties?
Why couldn't i lead a peaceful and enjoyable life like some of my friends?
Why i have to work part time to earn a living?
Why i can't get a good result in my exam?
Why i can't remember anything that i study?
Why?Why?Why?
There are still a lot of the question "Why" in my mind...
i know and i believe that everything is in God's plan...sigh...kind of tired...tired of living in this world...sigh...God have plans so many obstacles to me that i can't hardly be able to bear it anymore...i know that every obstacle given will have a solution, this is what God's plan, HE want me to look for the solution, be able to solve any problems, and learn to be independent...this is how i always console myself...God, U can't expect me to face so many obstacles which happens continuously...one after another...i am just a lady, i need a shoulder to count on too...i need a shoulder for me to cry out as much as i want...since i heard my mum saying "sigh, so damn tired...sigh...what's the point of living in this world? i can't even buy anything that i like..my salary all gone for the house...sigh...everyday come back from work, have to do housework some more?i can't even find some time to relax, to do something that i like, to enjoy life?"i was just dumb folded figuring out what shall i say...anyway i end up just keep quiet and continue reading books...after that i do keep thinking of this and started asking myself too...what i can say is "tomorrow will be better"...hahaha...always trying to think positive and that's all i can do...

My hectic life begin...

i started working part time today...sigh...i only manage to rest for 2 days after my trial paper...haha...sound like i am a money minded person...haha...most of my friends encourage me not to work, better study for STPM and my another half trial paper which will be on 28th and 29th of September, so better study instead of working...i really got think of the pro and cons...so i just made up my mind to work but don't worry i won't work for very long because i need to prepare for my trial too...i hope i can manage my time well...i got to be more organize now...since i have chose to work so that means some of my time got to be sacrifice...the time for taking nap, time for playing and time for watching movie have to be sacrifice...sob sob...even though i have to work, i will try my best to spend some time for study...i know if i didn't do it, i can guarantee my friends that i am going to fail my bio and chem paper...so got to be extra hardworking d...i shall not disappointed myself and also my mum...hahaha...i was actually luckier to have a considerate mother...my mum won't give me any pressure on my study...she won't say anything such as "you better go study now","don't watch tv, go study","why u get such bad result"...till now i never heard her say so...hahaha...i only heard she will say "don't pressure yourself so much la, relax a bit" especially during exam time...hahaha...that's why she tell me that if i fail also never mine la...hahaha...so i won't have very much tension from my mum but sometimes i do jealous to see some of my friend being pressure by their parents...it's funny right...hehehe...anyway i was feeling very grateful to have such wonderful mother...hahaha...

It did really happen...

I never thought it would happened to me that soon...i hear my uncle told me that every driver will need to experience this...so its the matter of time...sigh...people say during the month of Ghost Festival, better stay at home especially at night...i never thought this would happen...its still fresh in mind...5 of September 2009, i was involved in a motor accident...i was lazy to explain the whole accident...so my dear friends who are interested to know then ask me when u saw me k...i am sure at that time i will explain to u...hehehe...anyway its just a minor accident k but i was the one wounded the most...my left hand and leg got a bit bleeding then lebam...next is my right leg kena lecur a bit then my waist got lebam...aiya...very pain lo...sigh...but i also want to Thank God...i believe God is trying HIS best to save me...luckily just minor injuries...i can't imagine myself in hospital either broken legs or hands...lol...God really bless me...hehehe...

Half of my trial paper is over...

hahaha...just only finish of of my trial exam paper...i got to thank to the school because my another half trial will be in three weeks time and that would be for my biology and chemistry paper...so now i got three more weeks to study for that 2 papers...since i feel i am going to fail my maths paper but hope not pa paper because i really got work hard on pa paper, i do hope my bio and chem paper will pass...this time i really want to pass my chem paper...hopefully my wish do come true...hehehe...now i give myself few days to rest then have to work hard for that two subjects d in the meantime i working part time job after school...so i have to put extra more effort to achieve my goal...i know i can do it...hahaha...

Not as i planned...

Hahaha...i thought i can turn off the computer at 2.30pm to do house cleaning but end up 3.30pm only start house cleaning...hahaha...so i quickly do finish the work la...so sad i only manage to sweep 1st floor and ground floor...then when finish mop ground floor is already 4.20pm...the weather worse, raining...make me can't go pokok assam then can't go hiking too...so the hiking will have to postpone to tomorrow at 7.30am...sob sob...anyway what i can do it to complete my household chores...when i really complete everything, the clock shown 5.45pm...hahaha...after taking my bath, i sat on my study table trying to study so i only manage to study till 7pm...hahaha...so got to really study d lo...hahaha...

What a busy day! And yet its fun...

Today is the first day of the 1 week holiday...yipee...anyway this holiday is not to have fun but to study for trial...sigh...after all i do plan to do revision but not today...today is a busy day for me...early in the morning around 6.45am, i have to wake up to study...hahahaha...bluffing k...crazy meh so early study...hahaha...joking k...i wake up to fetch my mum to the market...after that, of course sleep back la until 9.30am because later around 11am got appointment to play badminton with friends...hahaha...i went there quite early around 10.50am, luckily one of my friends reach at the same time too so we two play first...about 11.15am only we saw few other friends come..i think only at 12 noon i really saw most of my friends...hahaha...anyway the game suppose to end at 1pm but i have to go back early a bit...hehehe...sigh...got to do house cleaning today...sweep the floor, mop the floor, tidy up every room...i still wonder why i agree to do this...hahaha...anyway maybe because if my mum called me do it few days later then i won't agree d as i was suppose to study for my trial...so better do it now so that my mum won't have to do it later by herself...i plan 2.30pm start house cleaning then maybe at about 4pm i shall complete everything...hehehe...as i say is a busy day so at 4.3opm i will go pokok assam with tee xin to buy some food to eat...hehehe...after that another appointment with friends too that is go hiking at Maxwell Hill at about 5pm...hahaha...i guess we will hike till 6.30pm kua...hahaha...oh finally the day end...hahaha...my horoscope tell me that today is a great day with friends...i do agree with this...hehehe...that's all...bye...

What an unlucky day...

15.8.09...i shall remember this day...the day when i feel myself so unlucky...the day before, i felt tired because tomorrow is Saturday and yet we need to come to school as usual..sigh..then at night i plan not to go school but suddenly i thought of an important things that i need to hand in to a teacher...so i got to go school on Saturday...i had to wake up early in the morning around 6am to bring my mum to the market..what an unlucky day when i found out that the tyre of the motorbike pancit when i almost reach the market...what i was very angry is how am i going back to my house..i was thinking "God, are U don't want me to go to school?"i tried to phone my youngest uncle for help but he was not in town then i phone another uncle for help and almost 7am only i reach home...so without wasting my time i quickly get ready to go to school...at first i thought of walk to school but my mum insisted that i cycle as the time was in a hurry too...so i cycle to school...luckily i manage to reach school just in time...Thanks God...anyway i felt a bit of regret because that day the class was boring...not many teachers are teaching...they just let us to do our own works so kind of boring at school...
time do pass quickly and its time to go home...i parked my bicycle outside the school so it was under hot sun...when i took out my key to open the lock, i was shock to found out that my bicycle key had lost...i search through my pocket but none...my mind was blank at that time because i don't have any spare key neither with me nor in home...so i thought of asking the guard help to break open my lock...anyway i didn't ask for the guard help...i planned to walk back home and discuss with family first...for your information, i won't bring a small umbrella with me unless i plan to walk home...so that day i walk back to my home under the hot sun...it was so hot and i was feeling hungry...sigh...the climax is on the way home i kept thinking how can i lost the key so i take out the key one more time and was feeling shock+angry...how can i take the wrong key to school...i mistakenly taken my brother's key...no wonder there is no bicycle key...i was so geram...why i can made such stupid mistake...anyway i do walk back home and when i reach home i asked my cousin for my key and they told me my brother had took mine key to work...i was damn angry telling them to give another key instead of mine but they can't find the other key...so i angrily enter my room and found out the other key was just on the table...i called them and told them...they answered "oh its here, i thought the key had lost.Thanks ya" and they just walked out from my room...oh my goodness why am i so unlucky...Is it the God really don't want me to go to school?when i managed to reach school in time, HE chose to let me can't go back with my bicycle..hahaha...
the story not yet end...my elder brother have to drive to work because of the motorbike pancit so he plan to bring me go take the motor during his recess time but he can't make it so he ask me to find any way to go take by myself...anyway with my friends help i managed to go to the town but on the way to the town, its raining cats and dogs so my whole body got wet...when i reach my youngest uncle shop, i was told that the motorbike key is not with them but the motorbike is at my uncle shop...i can just watch that motor without the key...i phoned my elder brother for that key and waited for him almost an hour in a wet condition...i only managed to wipe my body with a towel but my shirt and pant are still wet...i was freezing because of the weather...don't forget that my bicycle are still at school...that time was almost 6pm and its still raining...finally i got that key and drive back home...luckily my cousin is willing to help me to go take the bicycle...so i drive her to my school and she will cycle back to home while i will followed her back to home...after bathing i felt i was going to fall sick...so sad i can't go out with my old friends...luckily today i wake up feeling fine...i so scare that i might fall sick...Thanks God...that's all for now...sigh...what an unlucky day...

1st of August 2009 - What a wonderful day!

One of the memorable day in my life...although i was not dress as pretty as my other friends, i do enjoy the day...1st of August is the day for Graduation Night 2008/2009...i can say that this year the graduation night was awesome...much much better than last year...Thanks to the Lower 6 students hard works...Thanks a lot ya...hehehe...that night was a wonderful night...we dance, we sing, and we really have fun...there are a lot of performances going on, people singing, digi advertisement, dancing and a guy performing Michael Jackson...everything was so nice...this yea there are four finalist for Mr and Miss Form 6 08/09...surprisingly both are also from my class...hahaha...Mr. Form 6 will be Tan Wei Sheng, a very friendly guy yet likes to do stupid things and jokes everywhere while for Miss Form 6 will be our friend Ng Poh Juan, a quiet girl but sometimes quite noisy too...after the prize giving ceremony, we ended that night with some dances...everyone busy taking photos and some dancing...that day is also one of my classmates birthday so we gave her a surprise party...hehehe...what a wonderful days...that event suppose to end at 10pm but 11pm only the event really end...even though the party ended at 11pm but i 2am only back to my home...hahaha...after the party ended, we went to K-box in Taiping Central...just imagine wearing formal clothes and walk around...haha...of course we became the main attraction to everyone...luckily Tee Xin and I went with few guys...if just we two then we rather stay at home...hehehe...i shall end my words here...all the memories that happened will be kept in my mind forever...will be remember forever...hehehe...

Graduation night coming soon...

As graduation night coming soon its shows that we, the Upper Six 2009 are going to face the STPM and also means we are going to graduate!!!! This event can be consider as 1 of the grand event for the Form Six students...sigh...i shall feeling excited for the day but my feeling was moody...first is because i am having financial problem now and i don't have any dress for that event...my mum call me not to go to the party if we don't have any suitable dress but i don't want to miss that day...it will be one of the memorable day...sigh...i am searching for a solution now...May God come out with a perfect solution for me...honestly say i really don't want to look odd at that graduation night...really pray hard to God...i use to dream of someone giving me money now? although the chances is =0.01%, i do hope this dream can come true...hahaha...Serena!!!Stop Dreaming k!!!!...hahahaha...

A Tough Life To Go...

First of all, thanks very much to all my beloved friends who are always by my side to support me...THANKS A LOT YA...hehe...don't worry i am feeling much better now...i know i still have a long way to go...i must always be ready to face any challenge that are coming...oh ya i retake my MUET exam end of this year...i am not satisfied with my result..sometimes i do believe that everything u do not only need the determination and hardworking but must also have the luck...maybe i am having bad luck recently...bad mood will make everything turn bad...i know i have to learn from mistakes...got to brave up myself...finally i realize that money is really an important thing in our lives...without money u can't do anything...sometimes i do ask God why was Him giving me so many obstacles especially this year,the year for STPM? Why? Can anyone tell me why? Why can't i face it next year? i am really hope time pass faster...after STPM, i will work hard to earn more and more money for my family and also for myself...May God Bless me...so that i will be able to go through this year...

Brave up Serena!!!!

i have played a lot times the quiz asking what your horoscope means? what ur birthday means? and after all i found out that this is true to myself..what written here is quite true...

What Is The Meaning Of Your Birthday?
No matter what, every one will love you because you are ruled by the Moon.You day dream a lot, you have a very low-self esteem, you need to have a back up for every move in your life, you are very unpredictable. You tend to change according to time and circumstances, selfish, have a very strong sense of musical and artistic talent and powerful verbal communication.You can be sweet as an angel and can be ruthless when double-crossed. Some might say you have a sixth sense. You will become a poet, writer, an artist or a business person. You are not strong in love, so your relationship will be in disarray until you settle down. If you are a girl, you will be responsible for your family. If you are a man, you tend to get involve infights & arguments in the family. You will sacrifice your life for your family. You are gentle, intuitive with a broad vision. You make a well-balanced person.

I saw in many TV show stated that whenever u faced any sad things, don't think so much, wash your face and sleep early, tomorrow when you wake up, it will be a brand new day again...i try yesterday...before i fall sleep, i pray to God's once more...the next day i wake up, i feel refresh back...my energy to face the challenge is back to me now...sigh...maybe people will think i am a weird person as i do think myself is weird...i can feel very very miserable for 1 day and the next day this feeling just vanished...unbelievable right...hehehe...anyway life goes on...i can't just die like that...my family needs me and i am sure i am going to miss my family and my friends too...hehehe...so don't worry i am fine now...i have to regain back my energy as just left few more months to go...i know the next challenge might even be much much worse but i got to be well prepare to face it...always be ready...hehehe...

Everything is in God's hand...

My computer got virus and made me can't online for few days...as most people shall know what happen recently...that is the MUET result...i can't believe i got band 3 for my MUET...i don't know what happen also...recently i had been facing a lots of problems...a lots...so much that i hardly can survive anymore...i can considered this year as my toughest year...i am very fatigue now...my strength had been used up...i just hope every unlucky things that happen to me will end soon...i can't bear it anymore...pray hard to God...i am very scared i get depression...i try not to...when i knew bout my MUET result...at that time, my feeling was blank...i so hope i can remain that kind of feeling...neither cry nor relieve...its just blank...but when i was at school, seeing most of my friends...my feeling suddenly feel so down...almost thought of commit suicide and every pain just end...why i got band 3?...i thought i answered that paper quite well...i just don't know why everything turn so bad...i know life is full with happiness and sadness but why am i have been facing so many sadness...where have my happiness gone?...i am trying to regain my strength back..my strength to study for STPM...my strength to live through this year... astrologist said that this year is a good year for horse but i can't get any good things at all...i have tried to console myself but i don't know why this time this doesn't help anything...maybe i use to console myself to lead a happy life and this time i just can't accept anymore...i feel that i am telling a lie to myself...i lied to myself that everything is going to be fine...maybe stress that cause everything but how am i going to release my stress when everything happen to me is bad...not even a good thing i received...false hope...sigh...i envy my fiends...i can say most of my friends...seeing them got good result, lead a life without worries, doesn't really study hard but can get a good result, get to eat and sleep well...i really envy them...i so hope i can have this kind of life but i know only dreams can help me...too many challenge i have to face...i don't know when everything is going to be fine...i just hope that at least God's can give me some time to rest...i need to rest enough to face more and more challenge that is coming...i know i can do it...for one more time i told to myself "i know i can do it, i have to face it no matter what also"...brave up myself...that's my advice to myself...sigh...

Get well soon...

Just drop by to say that my wound are getting better now...
Last Tuesday, 30 June 2009, i went to the hospital to take out my stitches...
although this time will be my second time, i never thought it would be so pain...
so much more pain than my first time...plus from the way the nurse take out my stitches, oh my goodness, it made me feel more pain...hahaha..
anyway now my wound are getting better...hope that the scar won't be that obvious and i shall becareful in the future when handling sharp things...hahaha...

Going to retired soon...

Yesterday, 20th of June 2009, the day i got my second cut on my fingers and also the last event of the Sixth Form Council which is the orientation camp to the L6 students...i have a mixed feeling...happy and also sad...happy because after that i will not have to be busy to buy things or do preparation for a new events...after all i also feel sad as time pass so fast and i will miss the time when i was enjoying the times doing events with friends...what a memorable times...yesterday the camp was not bad...kind of had fun also...hehehe...the only regret is i didn't join the orientation camp when i was L6...hahaha...anyway going to choose new AGM soon for Sixth Form Council and my Koperasi Club also...can say i am going to retired soon and have to focus almost 100% on my study d...sigh...i don't hope for much...just hope i can try my best in my STPM and get a good result to enter university...k that's all for now...

Again...Oh my Goodness...

Sigh...i so hope that everything was a dream...i shall wake up now but so sad...sigh...after 3 years, here comes the second scar on my hand...sigh...every time when i get cut, i would think of why would i been so careless...the first time when i got a cut on my hands, i was so shock and scare...imagine u see blood bleeding profusely on your hand...i am even scare when i knew i have to stitch my wounds...so the first time i get 8 stitches on my hands...sigh...history repeat, this time i got a cut on my finger and is on the same hand...i am not going to tell why i got a cut as i think not really important and is hardly to believe it...just to tell that this time i was not scare at all...just feeling some kind likes "Oh My God...why i cut my finger again"sigh...it happened early in the morning...sigh...i am just feeling sad cause my hand will be spoil...imagine a girl hand with 2 scars...scary right...this i get 7 stitches...not really that pain and i dare to see the whole process on how the doctor doing stitches on my fingers...hahaha...crazy right...before i was sent to the hospital, my mum cal me to close my wounds with a handkerchief so by the time i reach hospital, the whole handkerchief turns from orange to dark red...haha...i admit that my second wound is worse then my first time but i just don't know why i didn't feel anything...not scare but maybe feeling a bit pain, just a bit k...the doctor ask me weather i need a painkiller...guess what i say..."i don't think i need it as i experienced this before"...hahaha...i also don't know why i can answer like that and the doctor just tell me if i am really feeling pain i can take paracetamol also...now the only problem i am facing is eating, bathing and doing my homework...sigh...hope my wound will get well soon and never happen anymore k...hehehe...

School Reopen...

Oh is left only 5 more months to face the World hardest examination...haha...just hope at that time i am fully prepared for the examination...anyway kind of satisfied with my mid year exam but not very good...is just much better than what i thought...as usual i did very badly in chemistry..this test even worst the result for chemistry...oh got to work hard d...school life is back again...due to the new policy from the education ministry, all F6 students have to stay back at school until 4pm...kind of shock to heard that but of course i don't think any F6 students will like it...luckily my school only implant this policy to Lower 6 students...i as the Upper 6 student feeling so grateful as the school is so considerate about Upper 6...no point for Upper 6 to stay back as well because we had almost completed our syllabus..so i don't think i can pay attention in class until 4pm...plus the weather and we are not allow to go back to take a shower, oh my goodness...can't really imagine what will happen to me staying at school until 4pm...although the Upper 6 are still in discussion whether to stay until 4pm but most of my teachers been telling no benefit for Upper 6 students...so hopefully the school can make the best and most wise decision that is to allow Upper 6 students to go back as usual...hehehe...may God bless me ya!

Holiday is going to end...

First of all let me sigh...as you know, holiday ends means i have to face the STPM soon...sigh...not really get ready to study yet...anyway here are some brief talk about how i spend my second week of the holiday...
First thing is the surprise birthday party for Jing Rui on 8th of June which is also my another friend birthday...anyway Jing Rui birthday is on the 9th of June...hehehe...so we go to Taiping Central and went to the KTV...i start to feel that place turn worst even the services there are not good...i plan if next time i want to sing song with friends i will not go there anymore...anyway we do have fun at there...after went to tops and have our dinner...
Next is on 11th of June that is on Thursday...i went to Mei Chen BBQ party at her home...i can consider this party is also a gathering of our friends who have complete A-level,matriculation and a friend that have gone to Texas and she just came back for holiday...so is our chance to meet them...anyway they are still the same..just the same like those staying in Taiping...to me that party seem to be very short...i just feel that time gone very fast at there...when i am on my way back to my home with my motor, i have been thinking...when will we have this again...maybe 10 years later...hehe...wondering the next gathering will all turn a new look...hehehe...anyway i just wonder...time do pass very fast..all the memories of my friends will be remember forever...Friendship Forever...once a friend, forever will be friend...hehehe...
So this is what happening...although i didn't go for a holiday to somewhere else but is ok...i feel quite nice staying at home and i do know how to relax my mind at home...hehehe...i just hope my home is in the jungle then it will be more peaceful...hahaha...just joking...
Somehow i have to find back my determination to study...i know is just a few more months to go then i can really relax and happily wait to be accept to any university...so got to work hard now...gambateh to all my friends...my slogan "i know i can do it"...hehehe...

Bye bye to my oldest pet...

Wondering what is my oldest pet?...
taaadaaa...
that is my tortoises...
oh actually can't say is my tortoise, is suppose to be my brother pets...
i did rare tortoise before when i was in standard 3(if not mistaken)but had pass away after 1 year...so this 2 tortoises belong to my brother...the bigger tortoise which is female is already 10 years old while the other just 7 years old and is a male...at first thought want to let them mating...hehe...anyway the attempt was futile...for your information, the male tortoise is as big as your palm and the female tortoise will be much bigger by 20 % of the male tortoise...


On the 11th of June...finally my family made the decision to say bye bye to our lovely tortoises...there a lot of reason why we shall release them...
1)My aunt say we must not rare tortoise but must release them...as you all know when we want to get good luck and throw away the bad luck, we release animal likes birds, pigeons and tortoises..this is based on my aunt say...
2)My brother doesn't care his tortoise anymore...only my mum and me are taking care the tortoise...buying food and bath them...
3)I felt pity to keep them in a small baby bath tub...hardly got enough space for them to move...
4)I think is the time to let them become independent...hehehe...
Actually i tried a lot of time to tell my brother to release them but he refuse..after so long, he said is hard for him to release them...got feeling to the tortoises already...hahaha...anyway he had to agree finally...he had release them to the lake garden...somewhere near the zoo(i think so)...so if u had take a walk in the lake garden and suddenly meet up with a tortoise, it might be one of my lovely tortoise...hehehe...last but not least, i hope that my tortoises will survive at the new environment..really pray hard to God...hehehe...

What is love?

I have receive an email from somebody telling me what is love?...and here's the definition...

Psychiatrist Harry Stack Sullivan says:
"When the satisfaction, happiness, and security of another are as real to you as your own, you truly love that person." This desire to see you satisfied, happy, and secure is more than a feeling. It is more permanent than an emotion. It is an act of my mind and my will. It is my decision (I am going to love you) and my commitment (I will say, do, and be whatever you need for your satisfaction, happiness, and security). In other words, I decide that I am going to love you as I love myself. And I am committed to provide as best I can whatever promotes your true happiness.

If based on this definition to say you are in love then i can confirm that i am not in love with any guys yet...hehehe...

Almost 1 week...

Time do pass very fast...now only left 1 more week of holiday...sigh...this holiday been resting at home only...
i do have gone hiking with my friend on Thursday...
erm...
nothing much to say as nothing special is happening around me...hehehe...
but after all i think i can leave some comment about a novel i read during this holiday...
Title : Slow Burn
Author : Julie Garwood(New York Times Bestselling Author)
Comment : As you know i don't like novel that drag a lot without any much climax...this will make me feel boring with the book and it will took me few weeks to finish reading it...so my comment about this novel is it makes me spend 4 days to complete reading it...i won't say what is all about but i will only tell you that is worth reading it...enjoy reading this book...i was given chance to grade this book, i can say i will grade it 8 stars out of 10...

Peace of mind...

Its already the 5th day of my holiday...yet nothing special...i have been staying at home, reading storybook and surfing the net...friends do cal me go out...but because of certain problem, i didn't go out...then they cal me go swimming today...sigh...i don't know how to swim,thus my mum don't let me go...so until now i do go out but is with my mum lo and is also because i became her driver...fetching her go market...that's all...been staying at home these feel days...feeling like i am resting my mind...i try not to think anything...feeling peaceful...but i think it will be wonderful if i was in somewhere where is full with greenery rather than at home...maybe in the jungle...hahaha,,,i think it will be nice to rest your mind in jungle...you can feel the nature call...how hope i was at there...hehehe...

It's HOLIDAY!!!!!

Time to have fun...2 weeks for us to rest but after that we shall face the challenge that is approaching...the STPM...anyway yesterday i was kind of sad...sad with my result...i should know that this mid year test i would not get good result...sigh...no matter tou feel sad or happy life still goes on...so i rather chose to pass each day with a smile...=)

Exam fever....

So long i did not update my blog...that does not mean that i have been busy studying until no time to take a look on my blog...hehehe...is actually because i can't log in to blogger since last week...not really bother about it until my bro told me that our computer had virus...so virus are the cause of everything...soon my bro solve this and that's why i can update my blog now...hehehe...erm during last 2 week, i fell sick for 4 days...i got sorethroat then flu and then fever...oh don't worry is not H1N1 k...hehehe...but at that time i really thought i might got it...hahaha...or maybe dengue...hahaha...i thought of this because the first time i had fever for so long...usually its only takes me 1 day to recover from fever but this time was different...i recover then i fell sick again...again and again...so i fell sick on Friday and then skip school on Monday...at that time i was not fully recover...i got no voice to talk...so scare because in the meantime my MUET speaking is coming...its almost took me 1 week to fully recover...on Friday i got no voice and that worries my friends because MUET speaking exam is on next Tuesday...my friends seem to call me to drink honey and some remedies to recover my voice back...thanks for their concern...luckily i manage to get my voice back and manage to do some practice with my friends just the day before my exam...so overall the exam is not bad...i do hope at least i can get a band 4...may God bless me...hehehe...now i have been rushing to study for my mid exam which was next week...full format...sigh...feeling so tired...hope that next Friday reach soon...then i can have fun for few days before preparing for my STPM...really want to have enough sleep...i can't wait for the holiday where i can have enough sleep, eat and have fun...hope the day reach soon but don't end that soon...hehehe...

Learning to be more independent...

Quite some time i never update my blog...kind of busy actually...so just a brief about my past few weeks...talk about the latest...i just pass 3 paper of my MUET test...now left 1 more paper to go which will be on 12 May 09...anyway most of my friends say this test was very hard but i didn't feel neither hard nor easy...for me is ok la but i don't like what i feel about this test...whenever i say that test is ok, i won't get good result...its true...if i think is very hard at least my result will become better...hehehe...anyway i really hope this won't be true for this test...i really want to get good result for this test because i don't want to retake...have to pay extra money, spend more time...sigh...really hope i can pass my MUET test with flying colours then only i can truly focus on my study...may God bless me k...hehehe...ok another 1 things which i would like to talk about is my Genting trip with my friends...19th and 20th of April, i went for a school trip to Genting...neither very fun nor very bored...but at last i manage to went into the casino...wow...totally a different world inside...the environment was so bad, smell of cigarette ...can't imagine the worker there have to work for hours under such environment, high risk of cancer...anyway i also didn't stay there very long but i thought of want to play...hehehe...so the next day we went to Ipoh for shopping...maybe it was to hectic and tired...so not really in the mood to shop...anyway overall the trip was not bad...do really learn a lot things...i love to learn new things...gain more experience and learn to be observant...recently facing some problems...sigh...very tired...sometimes i just found myself suffocate...hardly to be able to breathe...thinking that i can't go on with my life...sigh but anyway is just a thought...i won't be that stupid to end my life...i know there is still a lot more things to learn...so how can i give up?...i want to learn more...so be optimist...i always bear in my mind about my slogan "i know i can do it"...so i shall learn to be more independent...i know my whole life won't be like that..there must be ups and downs...so just face the challenge now...hehehe...

Doubt....

Something just happened...i don't know is a good things or a bad things...but this time i was quite calm...never over worried...hehehe...i believe as people grew older, their mind start to think more mature...this is what happen to me now...oh my goodness...sometimes i just feel that there is a gap between my friends...not all of course...maybe because i had experienced a lot of things, somethings which i don't hope to experienced it and yet it happened to me...so i learn to be tough...i know everything must end with a solution...so i learn to figure out the solution...there are a lot of things i have thought before...something impossible but what will happen if that is possible? Just like an example of if i was not good in my study, maybe i will start working right after SPM, then i can earn money for my family...if not like now, i still need money from my family...sometimes i just think what is the purpose i study? People will say you get a better degree then your salary will be higher...but i start to doubt...

Time pass quick please...

Recently i felt my life was so busy...i never felt like this before...maybe because i stress up myself...STPM do really a scary examination which makes people headache, hectic and fatigue...almost like dying...anyway i just pass my MUET trial yesterday...i sat for 3 papers except speaking...so at least i do got a good result in paper 1 which is listening part...very happy but yet tired because this was not the real MUET test...how nice if it is...at least i can relieve for a while...anyway 2 more weeks and i am really going to sit for the test...but i can't focus fully on MUET as my mid year exam is coming soon...this time is even much much harder than my previous test...awww...i not really can understand chemistry...really very tired...i so hope this year can pass as fast as possible...i really can't bear to face it...

Busy yet fun...

I can say that this year is the most hectic year i ever faced...somehow is kind of fun also...compare to last year, this year i knew more friends...hehehe...early month of this year i had been busy working and doing biology project and after that i thought i could rest but i had to study for monthly test but the result was bad..sigh...so after attending today's six form counsel meeting...my life start to turn back busy...i have been in charge of the souvenir for Teacher's Day and orientation camp...then i was chosen to participate in Forum Pelajar competition...some more mid year exam is coming and MUET test also...next Wednesday will be MUET trial...oh my godness..almost going die soon...sigh...

Another piece of artwork after 2 years...

When i heard about a stamp design competition which held in school on last Monday, my reaction was nothing...if the past of me i am sure i will be very interested to took part but not now anymore...after all i do took part in this competition...hehe...first is because my friend called me to took part seem like i guarantee will win..hahaha...its funny k...second is because i want to get co curriculum marks...i plan to complete my co curriculum marks as soon as possible so that i can spend more time for study...anyway i started drawing on Tuesday and then spend about an hour per day to complete my drawing...so i took 3 days to complete it as the dateline is on Friday...hehe...when i finished my final touch up, i have the feeling of don't want to pass up..i prefer to keep it...hehehe...anyway i was happy that the drawing turned out great...since i had pass my SPM, i think almost 2 years i never touch on my water color...hehehe...i thought my coloring will drop but luckily i still manage to maintain my standard...hehehe...

School reopen...

Finally after 1 week of holiday, everything back to school life...recently i felt that what i wants to do end up doing nothing...sigh...what's wrong with me actually...i got to wake up from dream now...no longer honeymoon time...now is time to study...today one of my teacher told us about how good if u become a teacher...teacher is the only job that after you graduates, you will automatically become a teacher with a basic salary of almost RM2+++...after that, i just can't understand why suddenly i feel of wanted to be a teacher...one of my friend got shocked and asked me "are you serious?"...then i think throughly all over again...hahaha...i guess i was just out of my mind for a while...after some time of thinking, i don't think i can teach...honestly, i can understand something but i can't explain about it...a funny thing right...hehehe...anyway i will think is a waste of 1 year if i give up STPM and go teaching courses...moreover i wants to experience the life in local university whom my cousin and teachers were telling..."the most enjoyable time in your life is the life in university"...so i don't want to miss this...hehehe...so i think the only way for me to achieve this is to work hard...gambateh serena!!!!hehehe...

Its holiday...

Happy Holiday...hehehe...seem like i had been so long didn't update my blog...anyway i just finish my monthly exam and the result are not that good as what i wish...got improved but also vice versa to certain subject...overall i am kind of disappointed with my result...the effort that i had put shows such kind of result...so just disappointment fill my heart...anyway i will think positively..i shall think this way...i have not put much effort, i shall work even harder and harder now...so this holiday is not a holiday to me...i must take this time to work hard...i still believe if i work hard i will success...i know i can do it...

Exam coming...

Time pass so fast...so fast is already mid February...so fast my monthly test coming but luckily just a simple one...i mean not in full format so every paper will be a modify paper...kind of relax for me...hehehe..because i still didn't fully prepare myself for STPM....got to go do revision already...hehehe...luckily i heard a very happy news to me...i am going for a school trip on this April...the best thing is most of the thing was free of charge...this is because this trip was organize by the school koperasi so as a member of the koperasi, we get to go there without paying so much...we only need to pay for the expenses like games...yeah...kind of fun i think...hehehe...hopefully ya...

What a shock...

Everything is in God's plan...just like today...i never thought i will faint in school...hehehe...today my school had held a blood donation champaign..as usual i volunteer to donate my blood just like last year...due to this blood donation and my biology practical experiment, i chose to come school in state of going Ipoh with my family...something unbelievable happened...this was my second time i donate...so after donation, my friend and i wanted to go back biology laboratory..at that time my friend asked me together go back class which is on the third floor to take our books...at first i refuse because i feel something will happen to myself if i go up but anyway i also went up as my friend seem to so desperate to go upstairs...hehehe...so i follow her go back our class..once i reach the classroom i start to feel a bit dizzy...i try to rest myself...soon we go downstairs back to the lab..once i reach the lab i straight away sit on a bench and try to close my eyes,relax myself...the worst thing is my vision went blur...what i seen start to turn white dots..more and more...at that time i start to feel scared...i might die..hahaha..this is what i thought...then my teacher say that my face looks pale and he called me to rest...after some time, my face turn worst..white,very pale...my friend was shock to see me like that...so they decided to bring me go see the nurse...at that time my vision was almost white..i can't see colour..scary for me but i still can hear something so i try to walk go but i just manage to walk till the door of the lab and i just pass out...hahaha...can't believe it...after that my teacher and my fellow friends help to wake me up...very thanks to them...just when the nurse come to the lab, i am back to conscious...i manage to walk back to the hall for some rest..drink some hot drink and rest for a while...soon i am back to normal but for me everything was just like a dream...i had wake up from my dream...during my unconsciousness, i heard how my friends and teacher help me...i can hear but i can't open my eyes...wow...seem like i had bring much trouble to everyone..very sorry ya...hehehe...anyway thanks to does who are so care and help me a lot...thanks very much...what happened today will be remember forever...hehehe...

Sport Day = Valentine Day ...

Today,14 of February, my school had held the school sport day...kind of disappointed with how the sport day are hell...it was totally different from my former school...really can't believe it...i never thought that my last sport day are going to end up like this...not as grand as my former school...really can't describe my feeling...even my friends also feel weird..sigh...anyway the red team had win which mean my team had won the overall beat team for 2009...after so many days busy about the sport things...is time to relax for a while...just a while only...now i have to work hard for my study already...sigh...form six life was tough...been busy since the beginning of the year...sigh...i need rest but i know it will be after December...so i still have about 10 months to work hard...after that i can rest as much as i can already...really hope that day come soon...

oh ya today was a Valentine Day...a very special day for couples but not for single...so today was not a special day for me...hehehe...i still don't know when will i celebrate Valentine Days...anyway i will wait...wait for God's plan...hehehe...anyway Happy Valentine Days...

Kind of disappointed...

Yesterday was a great day...i enter the sport event for 4x400m,1500m n tarik tali...so yesterday was the event 4 tarik tali n so happy that we manage to go final round which will be on tis sat...but today i was kind of disappointed with myself...i enter the 4x400m event n we only manage to get third place...kind of sad to myself because i was the cause of everything...i can't speed like the rest...sigh...very sorry to my others friends...now i have backache, leg n hand also pain...sigh...i scare i can't do better on sat...sat is our school sport day so i hopefully i can still run and have the energy to beat my opponent in tarik tali...may god bless me...i can't believe that i can run...i got that feeling that my stamina had improve a lot...last time i won't enter any running event...now i feel running was quite nice also...maybe after sport day i might go for a jog during my free time...hopefully i got the time to do it..i scare i don't have time to relax also as time is moving fast so STPM is coming soon...gotta work hard d...sigh...really hope that i can perform better this sat...gambateh...

Still In CNY Mood...hehehe...

Now i kind of relax and enjoy my life...hehehe...i have time to finish up my homework, time to take a nap, time to do household chores and time to watch television...hehehe...really enjoy my life now...but i shall wake up already as only left 9 months for me to study for my STPM...wow time really past so fast...my mind are still fresh with the time when i just enter lower six...sigh...i shall work hard now...gambateh serena...i know i can do it...

Time Waits For No One...

So fast my 19th of Chinese New Year had passed...tomorrow school is going to reopen and as usual i am going to cycle to school...sigh...another time of disappointment...at first my friend had promise me to sell her motorcycle to me but she broke her promise then my dad promise to give me a car but i don't really put high hope on what he say...and then my brother promise me that he will help me financially to buy a new motorcycle and end up, it was just like talking without any black and white...i was so sad...i cried once more but this time i don't feel so sad...maybe because i had experience so many times of disappointment, so i don't really feel too emotional anymore...i will just accept the fact...i came from a poor family so i shall not ask for more...this is what i shall remember in my mind...i heard people tell me that everything is God's plan...if it is so then i hope that there will be no more any disappointment on me...i can't bear it anymore...seem like this year is the year where i experienced so many times of disappointment..i was very tired...i hope it can stop now...now i doesn't really hope for anythings anymore...although i still hope to get a motor, but i know the chances is very small...sigh...

Happy Chinese New Year 2009 !!!!

First of all, i want to say to everyone...Happy Chinese New Year!!!...hehehe...as usual my first day of new year, i will stay at home...my relatives still not yet come to visit us...this year might be late... so sad...so i was kinda boring these coming new year day...but i do have plan for myself...hehehe...after all, i finally off work...no longer working part time anymore...yeah...i can start focusing on my study...i want to score good result...i want to enter local university...i want to keep on studying...may God bless me...ok..that's all...i want to go watch any nice chinese new year movie already...once again...Happy Chinese New Year!!!...may this year brings lots of happiness and health to you all...may your dreams come true...hehehe...

A Great Day!!!

This year is my last year of schooling...this mean my last time of attending cross country organized by the school...for the last 5 years, i had never won any prizes in running for cross country...so today i won...i won the number 11th among the 3o0+ students...so happy when i receive this...after that...i never thought my red team had won the champion of this cross country...i was called to go to the stage to receive trophy as i was the girl president of red team together with the guy president...
i think i really can't angry or hate a person for very long time...after 2 days of not talking to her, finally we start to talk back as usual...at that time i just felt relieve as i am not going to angry anyone anymore...its so suffer to angry a person...must well i forgive her but i think i will not forget what she had done to me...i will take this as a lesson for me to learn...don't trust her so much...hehehe...and some more i might going to get a new motor soon..my brother might help me financially to buy a motor...kind of happy...hehehe...
the best thing is 2 more days and we are going to celebrate Happy Chinese New Year!!!this year is the year of ox...may this year bring happiness and good health to me...hehehe...i was going to start my study now...after my last day of work...maybe i will rest for few days then have to start revision already...i really want to achieve my dream...i know i can do it...

Anger...

From the first i already tell myself that if possible try my best not to hate or angry with anyone...to hate a person is a very tiring thing to do...so i always tell myself learn to forgive and forget...sadly the first time i angry with a person...usually if i really get angry i will forget about it the next day but till today i can't talk to that person...not even a word...so i know that when i did really angry with somebody, i would not talk to that person...my mood will just turn dull when i see that person...i so hope that i can scold, shout and tell everything i want to tel to that person...at least by doing this i will feel better...so sad not even a word i was able to speak out...i just keep everything inside my heart...and as usual tears will flow down from my cheek...i thought,yesterday which is 18 of January 2009 will be my best day cause i am going to get something which i really want since December...so sad everything turn upside down...at that moment i got that feeling of being fool by people...i was so sad...thinking from the beginning everything was just a dream...if possible i don't want it to be a dream...i was very disappointed...i thought i can forget about it the next day but its impossible...since morning when i go to school i thought of "how nice if i can have it now"...everything was just like.........i just don't know how to describe...not many people will understand how i feel including that person...i never had such great disappointment before...once and again...that person disappointed me again and again...for the first time i had forgive and forget but the second time was terrible...i can't imagine it really happen to me...i want to try to forgive and forget...maybe it needs time to be able to do this...i just hope it won't take long but my feeling had told me that this was the first time i really get hurt...i need a very long time to heal my pain...

My Biology Project...

Taadaa...finally i and my friends had finished the most difficult part in our biology project, the collection of 25 species of insects...it almost takes us 2 month to complete this...nice right?...hehehe...i like the background of this board so much...we use nature resources to do it like sand and dry leaves...so happy that we did it so well...although this project is 6 people in a group but it seem like only 2 person in this group...majority of the work was done by me and my another friends...the rest kind of help also but not so much...before i complete this project, i got stress up quite a number of times...anyway luckily it had over now...just after we finish up this project, i was so relieved...Thank God...now only left the plants part...it was also almost finish...yeah i finally can rest, can have some time to relax, can have some time for my homework...very happy...hehehe...

Stress...

i can't believe today i wake up late for school...so end up i didn't go to school today...seriously say, kind of sad actually...if can, i want to go to school but i just don't know what happen to my body because it refuse to move...maybe i was really tired recently...i couldn't find any time to rest...i used to sleep at 1am to 2am even during my school day...i don't have enough sleep recently...very tired...really very very tired...sometimes i just hope that i could focus on my study...January 2009 is the most busy month for me...i have to go to school in the meantime i have to work...i tried to manage my time properly and wisely...i really tried my best...i just don't know why i have so many things to do...i hate myself...i don't like myself for being too hardworking and very scare if i didn't complete anythings...and sometimes i hate group work project...i would be the one who worries this and that and would tried my best to do everything in order to complete the project...i just wondering why my group members doesn't seem to be worried...i hate irresponsible person...i hate people who did not put effort in their work...from the group project, it makes me hates this kind of person more...most of the time,only me and one of my friend who did everything...we always sacrificed our time and energy to complete the work...i was very very tired...in future i hope my group members will be like me and my friend...willing to sacrificed...be more responsible...everyone have a limit...i have exceed my limit that is why i was saying something to make me comfortable...or in the other hand to help me release my stress...now i just hope i can complete my work as fast as possible...

The begining of the year 2009...

Today was the first day i went to school as an upper six student studying biology and chemistry subjects...i was kind of shock and feeling tired as i never expect this kind of situation will occurred...
after assembly, we went back into our class...as expected, our new form teacher will come in and discussing the organization of the class...my friend was voted to be the monitor of our class...hahaha...obviously she don't like this post...even me too...anyway i was chosen as her assistant monitor...i will try my best to help her...hehehe...at least she won't feel so tense up... after that our study life start as usual...teachers entering the class and start teaching...i was like thinking "Are we that hurry?"...everything starts so fast..i heard lots of announcement like next week there will be a pre-test for organic chemistry, next week we will have to pass up our biology project, this Wednesday have to pass maths and chem homeworks and do presentation for Pengajian Am...aaarrrghhhh...kind of stress up because i didn't complete yet...seem like suddenly everything move so fast..i want to slow it down...sigh...
then after school, my mum told me that today she want to bake biscuits for Chinese New Year...so i have to take leave for my work...during baking, i start to think...thinking i should speed up myself...thinking i should be more hardworking to finish up my homeworks, get ready for the pre-test...thinking i should plan my time properly as time is golden, i was studying while working..so time is very important to me...i will try to spend my time more wisely....
anyway today will be the start for my last year of schooling...i shall spend my time wisely in school with friends and teachers...hehehe...just be myself...enjoy my life...and my slogan "i know i can do it"...