Everything is in God's hand...

My computer got virus and made me can't online for few days...as most people shall know what happen recently...that is the MUET result...i can't believe i got band 3 for my MUET...i don't know what happen also...recently i had been facing a lots of problems...a lots...so much that i hardly can survive anymore...i can considered this year as my toughest year...i am very fatigue now...my strength had been used up...i just hope every unlucky things that happen to me will end soon...i can't bear it anymore...pray hard to God...i am very scared i get depression...i try not to...when i knew bout my MUET result...at that time, my feeling was blank...i so hope i can remain that kind of feeling...neither cry nor relieve...its just blank...but when i was at school, seeing most of my friends...my feeling suddenly feel so down...almost thought of commit suicide and every pain just end...why i got band 3?...i thought i answered that paper quite well...i just don't know why everything turn so bad...i know life is full with happiness and sadness but why am i have been facing so many sadness...where have my happiness gone?...i am trying to regain my strength back..my strength to study for STPM...my strength to live through this year... astrologist said that this year is a good year for horse but i can't get any good things at all...i have tried to console myself but i don't know why this time this doesn't help anything...maybe i use to console myself to lead a happy life and this time i just can't accept anymore...i feel that i am telling a lie to myself...i lied to myself that everything is going to be fine...maybe stress that cause everything but how am i going to release my stress when everything happen to me is bad...not even a good thing i received...false hope...sigh...i envy my fiends...i can say most of my friends...seeing them got good result, lead a life without worries, doesn't really study hard but can get a good result, get to eat and sleep well...i really envy them...i so hope i can have this kind of life but i know only dreams can help me...too many challenge i have to face...i don't know when everything is going to be fine...i just hope that at least God's can give me some time to rest...i need to rest enough to face more and more challenge that is coming...i know i can do it...for one more time i told to myself "i know i can do it, i have to face it no matter what also"...brave up myself...that's my advice to myself...sigh...