You...

“My whole teaching is simply this,

Accept yourself,

Love yourself,

Worship yourself,

Celebrate yourself.”

~Osho~

______________________________

You are like a teacher that life has given to me..
You make me happy..
You make me sad..
You make me angry..
You make me smile..

Just seeing you will makes me smile..
Just hugging you takes all my stress away..

Sometimes you makes me speechless..
Sometimes you makes me cry..

Occasionally I will questioned myself,
“Why am I acting like this?”
“What is my feelings right now?”

You makes me see a different perspective..
You makes me know myself even more..
You makes me feels love..

Thank you for being with me..=)

The Mind..

“What are your emotions, your moods, your sentiments? - just a turmoil.

 And because of this turmoil you cannot see your own nature. 

You go on missing yourself.”

~Osho~

________________________

The mind is very tricky..
Sometimes it leads you to think negatively..
Sometimes it brings happiness to you..

You need to be wise..
You need to observe..
You need to have moment of silence..

Then you will be able to know the mind..

What I want to do,
And what I can do is so different..
When all your want’s are just in your head..
In reality, you do nothing..

Apologize...

"Love is nothing without action. 

Trust is nothing without proof. 

And sorry is nothing without change."

____________________________________

First of all, my sincere apologize to myself..

Forgetting to post in the month of July..

I guess I have been busy with a lot of stuffs..

But that should not be an excuse..

I just forgot about it..=D

Some people say sorry without thinking much..

Some people find it difficult to say sorry..

Sometimes saying sorry,

Does not mean you did wrong..

Does not show you are weak..

Does not mean you have lose..

When you have think through,

You have decided to let it go..

You have decided to forgive..

This is the best time to say I am sorry..

It is not the number of apologize being said,
It is the way you express your apologize,
That will show who you are..=)

Balance...

“Life is a balance between rest and movement.”

~Osho~

_________________________________

It has been a busy month for me..

Sometimes I really wish I have more times for everything..

I need to spend time for my work..

I need time to rest..

I want to spend some time on my plants..

I want to spend some time with my love ones..

Sometimes there is a thought..

A thought that will make you question yourself..

“What have you done so far?”

I always want to plant more plants

In my house or garden..

I thought of building a tiny house for myself..

I want to prepare my own meals for the day..

I want to lead a simple life..

But currently..

I need to spend more time on my works..

I need to spend more time with my love ones..

I guess I just need to find the balance in my life..

Time to make some changes..

I know I can do it..=)

Be or Become...

"All the Buddhas of all the ages 

have been telling you a very simple fact:

Be - don't try to Become. 

Within these two words, be and becoming, 

your whole life is contained."

~ Osho ~

________________________________

To be and To Become may sounds the same..

But they bring different meaning..

Sometimes I am in doubt too..

Am I be?

or

Am I become?

I am still looking at myself for myself..

Searching for the Be who you are..

Wonder how long it takes..

Although as time pass, I Become who am I..

But deep down,

As long as I am always observing and aware of myself..

Maybe one day, 

I can Be who I am..

Distance...

“Everybody is appearing with a mask which is smiling, happy-looking, 

so everybody is deceiving everybody else.

You also appear with a mask, so others think you are happier,

you think others are happier. 

That is the illusion that distance creates.”

~Osho~

______________________________

The moments when I decided to start a new life..

Somewhere far from the city..

I am prepared for what might happen..

Initially I thought everything is still fine..

But eventually things become more distant..

I still remember when I am single,

I do not understand why my friend who have boyfriend seems busy..

Now that I am in a relationship,

I think back and I start to wonder..

Am I really busy?

Am I being forgotten?

Maybe this is how life goes..

You do thought of the good old memories..

But it was a past tense..

This new life I am having now..

I do enjoyed a lot..

Despite feeling sad occasionally..

I never regret my decision..

A wise man told me before..

“As you walk on your own path, you get lonelier and its ok.

Do not be afraid. 

Do not turn back.

Just keep walking and believe in yourself.”

Failure...Success...

“Failure and success are unimportant;

What is important is the awareness that 

Everything is a game.”

~Osho~

__________________________

After been joining the marathons for few years...
The day when you have to experience the feeling of not being able to complete the run had happened...
On such rare occasions that I was chosen to run in Tokyo marathon,
And yet I did not manage to complete that full marathon..

On that day,
The feeling of hopeless..
The feeling of failure..
Shock and sad...

You just have to accept the fact..
I saw runners that are trying to argue with the authorities..
I saw runners that feels devastated..

As I sit in the sweeper bus quietly,
My thoughts is playing in my mind..
I am blaming myself for my own careless..
I am feeling scare of facing my friends, family and people..
This feeling of failing is very new to me..

I am glad for I acknowledged that failure..
And I starts to smile and looking at the brighter side..
I still remember telling myself...
Do not feel defeated just because of one mistake..
Failure makes you stronger..
I just needs to get up and practice harder in the future..
I will come back and complete my full marathon in Tokyo again..

The moment when I am ready to leave the event place,
I starts to feel scare yet wanting so much to meet that person..
He whom have been waiting for me..
He whom have been accompanied me..
He whom have been cheering for me..

So it hurts...
When I do disappoint him..

But I learned..
Sometimes bad things that happened to you,
Brings greater lesson in your life..
How much you grow depends on how much you changed..

I am glad for staying positive despite the bad day..
After all, life is not just about the good and happy things..
Sometimes we just need to embrace whatever that happened be it good or bad..
As always, nothing is permanent..=)

Thoughts...

“The thought manifests as the word:

The word manifests as the deed:

The deed develops into habit:

and habit hardens into character.

So watch the thought and its ways with care, 

and let it spring from love born out of concern for all beings”

~Gautama Buddha~

_____________________________

Thoughts can be pretty scary if you let it unguarded..

I am used to think a lot..

Sometimes I wish my mind will just stop thinking..

The thought that have been buzzing in my mind can get pretty annoying..

People told me that I think too much..

I agreed for I can think till a point when...

I need to tell myself..

“Steady, everything will be alright. Nothing to worry about.”

I feels like I am a mad lady..

Seeing how my thoughts come and go..

The only thing I can assure is when..

My true-self really want to tell something,

then my body expression wil be seen easily..

Only people who are close to me..

Will be able to realise me..=)

This is me...

“Remember, when you are deeply in love your mind ceases to be. 

There is no past, only the present moment becomes everything. 

When you are in love the present is the only time, 

the now is all- no past, no future.”

~Osho~

_____________________________

So fast 6 months had passed..
How are you feeling it? =D

Sometimes you will feel annoy or angry,
When I keep asking you questions..

You feels worried,
When I always skipped my meals..

I guessed you do feels hurt,
When I tease you..

I cannot remember every single things you did told me..

Sometimes I feels I am taking you for granted,
Asking you to be my driver and help me buy stuff..

I still remember your face expression of devastation..
When I cried so badly and saying harsh words..

The moment when I did not convey my message properly to you,
You feels angry and voice out..
That scare me a while..
But I feels touched..
When you actually cried regretting your action..

Sometimes I am trying to bring fun into my life..
When I act cute in front of you..
When I do stupid things and you will say me crazy..
You must have a lot of patience in entertaining me..

So like it or not,
This is me and I see it in myself..

Until today,
Occasionally...
I still ask myself..
Am I really have a boyfriend?

I always feel grateful..
For your presence in my life..

I am pretty sure you will not like the following sentences..

If one day, we will not be able to be together..
Be it death or some other reasons..
Let’s cherish every moments now..
For you have bring colours to my life..
Love you always, my pig..=)