Failure...Success...

“Failure and success are unimportant;

What is important is the awareness that 

Everything is a game.”

~Osho~

__________________________

After been joining the marathons for few years...
The day when you have to experience the feeling of not being able to complete the run had happened...
On such rare occasions that I was chosen to run in Tokyo marathon,
And yet I did not manage to complete that full marathon..

On that day,
The feeling of hopeless..
The feeling of failure..
Shock and sad...

You just have to accept the fact..
I saw runners that are trying to argue with the authorities..
I saw runners that feels devastated..

As I sit in the sweeper bus quietly,
My thoughts is playing in my mind..
I am blaming myself for my own careless..
I am feeling scare of facing my friends, family and people..
This feeling of failing is very new to me..

I am glad for I acknowledged that failure..
And I starts to smile and looking at the brighter side..
I still remember telling myself...
Do not feel defeated just because of one mistake..
Failure makes you stronger..
I just needs to get up and practice harder in the future..
I will come back and complete my full marathon in Tokyo again..

The moment when I am ready to leave the event place,
I starts to feel scare yet wanting so much to meet that person..
He whom have been waiting for me..
He whom have been accompanied me..
He whom have been cheering for me..

So it hurts...
When I do disappoint him..

But I learned..
Sometimes bad things that happened to you,
Brings greater lesson in your life..
How much you grow depends on how much you changed..

I am glad for staying positive despite the bad day..
After all, life is not just about the good and happy things..
Sometimes we just need to embrace whatever that happened be it good or bad..
As always, nothing is permanent..=)