Jobless...

I should be happy because my mum didn't nag me to look for a job instead she told me if i couldn't find a job then stay at home...however i felt unhappy...i don't know why i will feel this way...sigh...being jobless suppose to be a happy thing,majority of the people hope for this kind of life...hahaha...to me it doesn't seem to be like this...i can't imagine i might stay at home for 3 months without any incomes...sigh...feeling useless for myself...if my family is rich then i have no worries at all...what i worries the most is the fees for my further education...with my current savings, i don't think is enough...there are still a lots of things to buy...i mean useful things for my life in uni...sigh...when talk about money really made people headache...i know ptptn loan will help me but i don't know how much amount I'll be able to get from ptptn loan or maybe i will be so unlucky to unable get ptptn loan..hahahaha...actually sometimes i do hate myself...i know there is a current job quite ok...that is be a kinder garden teacher...although the pay is not very high but at least the time is not long...the problem is i don't like teaching kids...sigh...i don't know whats wrong with me but whenever i imagine myself teaching kids,i feel scary...hahahahaha...that's y i still jobless now...another problem is my transportation...almost my whole family go to work with their own transport...my uncle with my mum will drive lorry then my elder bro will drive his car and my second bro will drive his motor...so left no other vehicles except my bicycle...sigh...i do thought of cycle to work but when i think of after work i have to cycle back to my home, i feel so tired...the weather, my energy left and bicycle made me feel so tiring...if i really cycle to work,i can guarantee the next time u all meet me, i will look like an Indian or Malays...hahahaha...to work i need to think of ways to solve my problems...sigh...how nice if i got motor now, then i can find any work i want...anyway i am not giving up to find jobs but if till May i still couldn't find any jobs then i will give up and get ready for my uni life...hahahaha...after telling this, i do feel some relief in my mind...^_^