You and The Unknown...

There are many things in our life is full with uncertainties and mystery.

It is never about other person;
It is always You...

To LOOK...
To LISTEN...
To SEE...
To CARE...
To AWARE..
To LOVE...

You, yourself.

The Unknown, creates FEAR.
The Unknown, makes you in DOUBT.
The Unknown, remains UNKNOWN if you chose to ignore.

The Unknown, requires COURAGE.
The Unknown, helps you GROW.
The Unknown, needs to be EXPLORE.

Once explore, The Unknown will disappear and You grow again.

My wish with you..

As the day approaching,
You are in my mind more frequent...

When I remembered memories of you laughs and jokes with me,
I smile and even laugh foolishly...

When I remembered memories of you in pain, weak, hopeless and suffer,
I cry silently...

Sometimes,
I wish I could turn back the time...

Sometimes,
I wish I could disappear your suffering...

Sometimes,
I wish I could fulfill your dreams...

Just sometimes,
I wish I can meet you;
I wish I can talk to you;
I wish I can hug you;
I wish I can kiss you;

I just wish to be by your side always...

My wish with you....will never be achieved.

Fulfillment...

When a problem or something unusual occur in your life...

You will start to think...

And think...

And think...

You may come out with many reasons or analysis results...

You may come out with one or plenty solutions...

You may even seek for advises...

Just when you thought you have finally know how to solve it,

Suddenly comes a thought...

A thought...

That makes you feel at ease...

That makes you think differently...

That makes you laugh at yourself...

Your whole self will come to peace...

And that is how fulfillment achieved...

How you define LOVE?

There are many definition of Love...
Everyone had their own definition of Love...

Some even define Love according to family, siblings, lover and etc.

To me...

Love is simple and it must allows freedom.

"A mature person has the integrity to be alone. 

And when a mature person gives love, he gives without any strings attached to it: he simply gives. 

And when a mature person gives love, he feel grateful that you have accepted his love, not vice versa.

He does not expect you to be thankful for it: no, not at all, he does not even need your thanks.

He thanks you for accepting his love.

And when two mature persons are in love, one of the greatest paradoxes of life happens, one of the most beautiful phenomena: they are together and yet tremendously alone, they are together so much so that they are almost one.

But their oneness does not destroy their individuality; in fact, it enhances it: they become more individual.

Two mature persons in love help each other to become more free. 

There is no politics involved, no diplomacy, no effort to dominate.

How can you dominate the person you love?

Just think over it..."

*Adaptation from Osho

To love and not to be jealous; 

To love and not to be possessive; 

To love and let the other have all their freedom;

Is really a great achievement. 

Only then will you really experience love and its fragrance...=)

Ego...

I could not find the courage...
   To face you in person for I knew I will end up crying...

I could not find the courage...
   To call you for I knew I will remain silent in the end...

I thought....and thought...and thought...countless times...

What is going on?
What really happen? 

Am I being rude?

Am I wrong again?

Why I feel sad?

Why am I acting like this?

All the unknowns, the questions has been playing around in my mind for the past few weeks...

Somehow today...

I finally realise who is the main culprit behind all these things..

The main culprit for making me acting like this..

*Smirk

Do you know who?

Is a person call Ego.

Because of Ego, 

I act like I did nothing wrong this time..

I act like I did not give a damn on what is going wrong..

I act childishly wanting to win this fight..

If I did not aware of Ego,

I know I will still go on with my life...

I know I will still think I did nothing wrong...

I know I will slowly show no concern to you any more...

I know there will be a distance between you and me when we meet...

All these is just because of Ego...

I gave myself a deep thought...

I asked my heart...

Do I really want these results that ego give me?

I smiled..

Because I realize and grateful that the answer is No...=)

Forever...

How nice if life is just like the so-called happily ever after of the ending from any fairy tale stories...
How nice if we really get to meet someone that say 'I will love you forever'...
How nice if we did not change forever...

Nothing is permanent...
I start to accept this fact and slowly get to see how things changes actually...
I saw and realize...

How myself have change in appearance...
How myself have change the way I treated people...
How myself have change regarding my working attitudes...
How myself have change the way of thinking about life...
How myself have change regarding my goals and dreams...
How my friends change as we grew older...

Does FOREVER really exist?

Goodbye, Thank you and Hi...

Goodbye..
Each year brings different memories to me. 2015 had been an exceptionally year to me for it had given me a lot of things. Its unbearable sometimes but I do overcome it. Anyway I am so grateful to 2015 because it made me grow so much a lot than the previous year.

Here is the things I get in 2015:

PAIN
All this while I thought pain is just like you had a cut in your hand or you accidentally knock your leg at a cupboard or whatsoever. I experienced internal pain instead of external pain. It excruciating and it actually takes a very long time to fully recover or maybe never recover. The pain is a whole new level that I could not find any word to describe how it feels.

SAD
Sadness always makes me feel lonely. Sadness brings tears to me. Sadness can demotivate and spoil your day. When sadness come, you cannot avoid but choose to embrace it. As an adult, I cried the most in 2015.

SHOCK
Honestly I was shocked with my working life culture. It is not as simple and easy as I thought. I still cannot believe for getting reprimand by my boss almost once a week for at least 5 months. Surprisingly I overcome it. I was also shocked to see how fragile a human life can be. You seem okay but the moment you knew something is wrong with your health, you can changed totally.

ANGER
After you left me, I am actually angry with myself. Angry for not listening to your advice and demand. Angry for being ignorant to your feelings. Angry for being playful and take things lightly. Angry for not always being with you. So much anger in me that I almost felt like ending my life for being such a useless, disobedient, ignorant, disrespectful and many more attitudes that makes you sad.

LONELY
Suddenly I felt so lonely that the loneliness is so different from being single. I used to feel lonely for still remaining single and hopping for a boyfriend. However, 2015 had given me another much more deeper loneliness that I felt like I am going to be alone for the rest of my life, the feeling of missing something too previous that I felt myself unconsciously living in this world.

Thank you...
Even though 2015 brought me these unhappy things, I learned a lot from each of the things I listed above.
I grew so much in 2015. I started to looked at myself, the people around me and the world differently.
Sometimes I cannot even believe what I have become now is so different from 5 years ago, what I thought myself would be.
Deep down I felt extremely grateful to every single things that happen to me.
It is this little things that act like the puzzle pieces which I have yet to complete my puzzle.
By the way, it is still a long way to go and I will keep learning for sure.

Hi...
So now I would like to welcome 2016 with a big wide smile.
Although we will never know what and how 2016 is going to give us things, what we can do is just to live in the present, to be ready for any unknowns, and to overcome any obstacles that might happen.
Just believe that 2016 is gonna be an amazing and fabulous year for you and I am sure it will be somehow.
After all, let's just face 2016 happily and healthily. =D