It's Alright...

"There is constant rain inside you and you drown every day,

but you’re trying so hard to disguise it with sunshine in your smile.

You are brave, even when no one notices it.

You are brave, because you are trying."

                                                                                

Just when you are in your comfort zone,

New things may happen...

New people may come...

New thought may appear...

Life is like a roller-coaster...

Life is always full with uncertainties...

People come and go...

Things change everyday...

Accept and appreciate every changes that happens...

Things, people, memories that are meant to let go,

Will slowly fade as time goes...

I still miss you and it's alright...

Rather than suppress my feelings, I chose to embrace it...=)

Fighting...

"I would rather be in the friendzone than in a relationship with someone who doesn't appreciate me."

                                                                                      

I have slowly slowly adapt myself back to square one...

I allowed myself to feel sad and emo for few days..

I keep telling myself that I will be alright, time will heal it...

I tried to stay optimistic...

As days go by..

I start to build back the wall that is protecting me with better materials...

I have locked the door to my heart...

One message..

The wall just cracked...

I almost want to open the door...

I am still fighting...

I wondered how much energy left for this fight...

I wondered will I breakdown...

Somehow...

I know my buddies want me to win this fight..

They are ready to support me and stand by my side...

So...

I am trying my best to fight relentlessly...

Move on...

"You lost her and it was not because she is hard to hold, or love, or touch but because she was made of your absence, of all the things you ignored and all the beautiful poetry you read but failed to understand."

                                                                                                            

I know it may takes some time for me to get over it...

Maybe weeks...

Maybe months...

Maybe years...

But I know I can do it!

Because I always believe that.. 

Somehow I will meet the one who deserves me.. =)

Let it go and move on...

Time will heal again...=)

I Met the First Person...

"I am glad we had the times together just to laugh and sing a song, seems like we just got started and then before you know it, the times we had together were gone."

                                                                                                   

I am pretty much sure I met the first person in my life.

This person...
Does not really have any common interest with me.
Yet I feel the compatibility between us.

This person...
Initially makes me have that fear.
Yet I try to overcome my fear.

This person...
Does not seem to be a nature lover person.
Yet enlighten me with a different perspective on how nature goes.

This person...
Looks so stressful with so many things in mind.
I wish I can help to reduce the stress.

This person...
Hardly have time for me.
Yet I still hope that one day there will be time for me.

Somehow,
I really want to keep on believing, keep on hoping that...
Maybe I will become this person priority.
Maybe I am not an option.

This person came to my life and taught me a lot, I felt grateful and happy to came across this person.

But...
I know is time to stop hoping and believing.
I know it is time for me to let it go and move on.

Strong? I am not...

Recently I read a book titled Reflection of a Man by Amari Soul and I came across this part that touches me.

"A strong woman knows that being strong is not an option for her, it's a necessity"

So, everyday she wakes up and meets the world and all of its challenges head on.

But sometimes, at the end of the day, when all is said and done and she finally closes the door, she cries.

Not because she's weak, but because it's hard being strong, day after day, knowing that if you don't do it, no one will.

The soft cries that most will never hear slowly disappear as the new day comes and you rise once again to be the strong, confident woman you are.

                                                                                                                 

To be strong, is tired.
To be strong, is not easy.

You are strong.
What a strong woman you are.

Ya, I seem to be strong.
I looked strong physically.

To be truth, I am not.
I can breakdown anytime of the day.

The tiredness is not as if you have run a full marathon or you have not been having sleeps for 3 days.
The tiredness cannot be describe; some days you may feel so light; some days the tiredness may kill you mentally.

I always afraid that one day, I may give up to fight for my life.
That is why I decided to train my mentality to always stay strong; strong enough to fight for my life.

Honesty...

When you face with a problem or uncertainty,

At first...
You will analyse the whole situation...
You will make guesses...
You are in doubt...

Some...
May give up halfway through...
May think of the bad more than the good side...
May avoid as much as you can...

Others...
Choose to ignore...
Choose to just let it be...
Choose to forget...

For me...
I will choose to be honest with myself...
I will rather make a shame of myself...
I will rather take it as a challenge...

Only when I am honest with myself, 
I live at ease...
My mind is calm...
I am happy..=D

One year passed...

If you are still here, who am I today?

It's been a year...
Yet memories of you still fresh in my mind...

Do not worry...
Be proud...
For you have make me survive till today...