TIME is all I need

I have decided to not abandon my blog again... 

 Since the last post, many things happened.  
Changes is beautiful, yet there are some changes I wish it never happen. 

 The year 2015 had been creating an environment that keep forcing me to be strong.  
All this while, I have been strong but now I need to be STRONGER to allow myself keep breathing. 

I have been missing you every single moments. 
I hope the time can stop at the moment when I hugged you so tightly and smell the scent of you. 

 All I need is TIME. 

TIME will make me start living by my own without you by my side. 
TIME will make me explore new challenges and opportunities. 
TIME will make me grow. 
TIME will make me experience new things. 
TIME will make me meet new people. 
TIME will make me appreciate every single moment I am breathing now. 

And with TIME also I may reunite back with you one day.

Waiting for holidays...^_^

Ya i know it is New Year!!! Fun and happy...let's welcome 2013!!! Yeah...i feel myself say it in a sarcastically way...hahaha...recently i try to recall how i celebrate my new year for the previous year...somehow i could not think of any nice or fun things going on...sigh...while most of my friends been flashback what have done during 2012 and their new year resolution, i feel happy but sad too...happy because we did manage to spend our times together with all the crazy stuff and all...in the meantime i am feeling sad too because the time spend for us together will be getting less and less...as years pass, we have to work, married and family...this is the norm of life... i still remember when i was in primary, i wish that i can grow up faster so that i can do what i want and be like an adult...as i move on to secondary, i wish i can study till tertiary and live as a university students...currently, i do hope i can go work fast because i did not wants to sit for exams but there are part of me who wish to go back to my secondary life or i would say is the times when i have the most enjoyable times in my life which are hanging out freely with my friends and also going for trips...hahahaha...anyway i can only recalled back the old times...^_^ another new year, another new challenges waiting for me...this year, i guess will be the last year spend with my siao cha bos...what i mean is the times spend...i am sure the times spend will be getting less as compared with the past...anyway i will appreciate every chance i have...^_^...then i am going to face my last 2 semesters in university before going for intern...not to forget my final year project also start this year...hoping that everything is going smoothly...a new year also means that we are getting older again...hahahaha... My only new year resolution is to enjoy as much as i can with my buddies and families throughout the Year 2013!!!! PS: i still left 5 more papers and 1 weeks before my HOLIDAYS start...Yeah!!!! i really excited just to think of it...^_^

Back to UPM...

The first thing i do when i came back UPM is "SIGH"...lol...this time i do really feel lazy and tired to study...maybe partly is because the last 2 semester were very busy and finally when you can have a 2 months plus holiday, you tend to feel lazy to go back to the hectic life...so for the first week, i my best to focus on my study...this semester which is my fifth semester is supposedly quite free as compare with my previous semesters but somehow is my decision to make my semester hectic back again...hahahaha...while rest of my coursemates are taking only 17 credits for this semester but i took 20 credits which is an extra 3 credits...there is pro and cons...anyway i have already take it so must well just study for the best...hahahaha...i started to have the mood to study when i came back after Hari Malaysia...i guess this semester i really have to work harder than anyone...do hope i can pass through again smoothly...sometimes when you are in the mood to study, there will be distractions from many factors...sometimes i just wish to stay out of campus, i do not really like coursemates that somehow indirectly dislike you working so hard for studies...sigh...when you busy doing notes or reports, they found it and start saying those sarcastically sentences...sigh...honestly say my work and plans are none of your business...i do not really like people disturbing my plans but usually i will not show it in front of them...this is my weak point...sigh...recently trying to find the time when i am free from distraction...hahahaha... Anyway i still miss the moments spend in Taiping with family and my siao cha bos...lol...everything was just so nice and fun...how i wish that this will remain forever...hahaha...Everyone, Let's stop feeling EMO, HOMESICK, LAZY and those negative thoughts...Let's just work HARD and SMART for this new semester and we will have lots of fun in the coming holiday!!! hahahaha...^_^

Define emo...

Honestly say i am not really sure about how is the feeling of emo...i am not sure am i emo? Since yesterday, i have been feeling quite moody, not in the mood to talk...spending most of my time watching movies only because this can avoid me from talking with people and think nothing...i feel lost, without any plans when i have to stop watching and facing the laptop...i do not know why i feel that...i hate this feeling...i want to feel happy but i just could not find it...sigh...anyone can tell me what to do? i have tried to bath many many times but i am not stress...hahaha.. the only things that make me feel better is listening to music but this is just temporary...sigh...i thought today i can feel better if i go facebooking but the library block facebook and even youtube...sigh i can only express it out through my blog...i hope after i saying this out, i do feel better...currently not in the mood to smile oso...what is wrong with me? i am trying to search the main cause of this feeling and i guess is this few reasons: 1. I am homesick. 2. I feel boring with my current life. 3. I want to hang out with my buddies. 4. i hate waiting for too long for my finals to end. 5. i quite long did not go facebook. 6. i feel lazy to study. Sometimes i will have this feeling when what i plan does not go accordingly...i did have few plans which i thought have already settle but suddenly become a problems to me...i guess i will just have to wait for this problems to settle then i can feel less...ermmm...emo?

I feel happy...^_^

I was actually very busy after my semester break...feeling stress due to the works, assignments, reports, presentations and herbarium collection and lots more...i feel suffer and almost cannot withstand the pressure i have...i keep hoping that i can insomia for at least 2 days then i can really complete all my works...but suddenly there is one day, i can't recall the date and i do not know how it happen...i decided to be happy and just let go all my stress...i try to maintain happy and just keep thinking that i must really focus on my work and always be happy...happy make my mind clear and being able to do my work fast...rather than being stress and keep thinking of not having enough time to finish up my assignments, i chose to just be happy and have fun...since last week, i have been feeling happy and optimistic...obviously my stress do reduce and i find out that everything just go smoothly...i am currently halfway finishing up my piles of assignments...at first i thought i could not be able to finish up on time but now i have the confidence that i can do it!!! ^_^...seeing my course mates all being stress, i can just tell them to be happy then you can finish your work soon but instead they reply me "sigh, seeing you so happy, make me more stress." hahahaha... anyway i am just spending my little time to share something i feel it might help for my friends who are stress...my advice: Just be happy...do not make your day as if it's the end of the world...always look fowards...and the most important is BE HAPPY!!!! i believe HAPPY is one of the best way of reducing stress...^_^... My dearest friends, Good luck in your finals and wish to see you all soon!!! ^_^

Guys...sigh...

I was actually rushing to complete my assignments and reports but suddenly this come to my mind...the world is really changing;maybe not to you all but to me i think is a yes...sometimes i was tired being the leader in any group...this time is more worst, my group leader are suppose to be a guy but it just turns out to be i am the leader...what the hell is going on? where is the leadership of a guy? why i always meet those "useless" guy who can't even show their capability well enough to praise by the girls? this only make me to look down on guys and i lost hope in guys capability for being a leader... there are certain guy who can become president of any society, but can't even do well as a member in any group assignment...aren't this funny? I admit myself was a more mature girl as compared with my other fiends and that's why i have already lost my hope to find love in university...the guys here just disappointing... how i wish to meet someone who can show their leadership, hardworking and responsibility well enough for me to admire him...maybe i have not meet every guys in my university but so far the answer is zero... I write this post is because i recalled back what happen yesterday when my group leader for post harvest who is a guy, came and asked me about the report we need to do...he is asking me how are we going to do and have i arrange the work for other members as well..at that time, in my mind, i was like "what, again? Am i the leader or him? How come he can't arrange work for other members?"...when i asked him about the works he must do or what information had him collect for the report, he will give all those stupid reasons which means "I do not know anything."...he just make me to curse him...shit... We are adults now, why can't the guys show their responsibility on their studies...i do know that what we are studying now might not help us when we are working but at least for now, as a student, we should know our responsibility is to do well in our studies...sigh...really speechless...

Results...Is that really important????

OMG...most of my course mates were so stress with the results...Is results really that important? I do agree with one of my Thailand friend that he stated results was just a number in a paper, so what is so great of the numbers? hahahaha...i do agree with him but not for my few course mates...they are so stress that they did not sleep well, eat well and some even feel stomachache then want to vomit...hahahaha...i do not know what to say...telling them to not feel so stress is like throwing money into the sea...waste time, waste energy and waste saliva...hahaha...suddenly just sick with this things...

Before the exams, they have been telling me that they did not read finish, very scare, forget everything already and etc....
After exams, they came out from the exam room and started telling oh the questions is so hard, i do not know how to answer, my answer wrong d, die la this time sure score badly d and etc...
While waiting for results to come out which takes roughly 1 to 2 weeks, they will be saying aiya serena you did not worry because she sure score good d, you so geng, me this time die lo, a lot of questions do not know how to answer...sigh...
Results came out d, and surprisingly their results is much better than me and they start saying eh how come i score so good 1, can't believe le, how about you, serena?
And my results was lower than them...i was like sweat thinking of all this while they have been worried for what? saja syok ka....sigh...

People are always like that or to be accurate Malaysian students majority are like that...even though they did say that "aiya now results not important d, they see our performance 1"...people who telling me this was indeed a person who care results the most...aiming high for first class and do not want to be the lowest marks person...sigh...suddenly just feel tired with all this kind of people but this is life...i am sure everyone will meet this kind of people...what i can do? i will just bear with them...hahahaha...